"Real Life"

So, now that it’s May and I’m only a month away before facing American reality again (even if only for a short 2 week visit), I’ve been thinking a lot about reality. It occurred to me recently how often I think of America as “real-life” and Tanzania as “dream-life”. I think of going to graduate school and then after I graduate, I’ll begin my “real-life”. How silly is that?

I think as Americans, we really get caught up in this mentality that what we are experiencing is not nearly as real as what we will experience in the future. We’re so focused on reaching towards new goals that reality can no longer please us. We think: “Oh when I get such-and-such a degree, then my life will really begin.” Or, we think: “When I meet my future spouse, that’s when my life will really begin.” Again, how silly is that?

Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s good to have goals (and I think that here in Tanzania goals and goal setting is not stressed enough), but I think that we take it to an extreme in America. We can never be pleased with what we have because we are only thinking about what we don’t have. It doesn’t help that the media pushes this on us, even when we don’t notice it. I can’t say that I ever noticed it all that much, but that’s probably because I was so used to it. But, I think that when I return it will be very “in your face”. Comparatively, the media here in Tanzania is almost non-existent, and I can’t say that I miss it. It’s actually freeing that holidays are taken down by about five notches of pressure. It’s crazy the things we do to ourselves, stressing over a specific day because it’s marked as “special”. I mean, seriously, the candy isle during Halloween or Easter is bigger than the ENTIRE supermarket here. I never spend more than 5-10 minutes in the supermarket here. Seriously, I’m going to have to have someone go with me on my first visit to Wal-Mart and they’re going to have to hold my hand.

Anyways, as we constantly strive towards the better future, we forget about the present. We forget to take the time to appreciate what’s happening now. I forget that what’s happening now is “real life” too. And in so many ways, this has been the most real life I have ever known. I am living along with the poor. I am learning from them and I hope that they are learning from me. I am hand-washing my clothes at least every other day and I am forced to take public transportation or walk. I eat rice and beans at least once a day and the amount of food variety is severely limited. And, nothing here is easy, not even picking up a package from the post office. Teaching is hard when the only resources you have are a blackboard and a piece of chalk. But, in some ways all of this is freeing. I’m actually participating in my life. People and things aren’t doing the work for me; I am forced to do it all myself. I guess it gives me a sense of accomplishment knowing that I can do these things for myself. In the future, if my washing machine ever breaks, I’ll be able to hand-wash my clothes if I want to. ;)

My calendar that I brought to Tanzania with me has a wonderful quote on it this month directly relating to this topic: “Regret lives in the past, yearning in the future. But, true peace lives only in this moment.” I’m striving to find that peace during my time here. To simply live in the moment and not in the future. It’s a little bit difficult right now because I have a trip to Europe and home coming up within the next month. I keep thinking about how excited I am to see Switzerland, Italy, and France, and then how excited I am to see my family and friends when I return home. But, I want to still take advantage of my time here. It does make it easier to leave, knowing that I’ll be back in mid-July. But, I want to focus on now and what’s happening now in this moment. I want to keep fighting find the peace that the world and American society especially denies us. How ironic, right? Fighting to find peace? But, it’s the truth when we’re bombarded with so many different elements. But, I think that once we make it a habit, it becomes easier; a way of life. I hope that you, too, will fight until you are also able to find peace in your life.

I’ll leave you with this verse:

“And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” ~Philippians 4:7

May the Lord Bless You and Keep You,

~Christine