The Europe trip was great and I'm really glad that I got the opportunity to have more cultural experiences before I returned home. Also, I think that it helped ease me back into life here in the states. Instead of going from a foreign underdeveloped country to a familiar developed country, I went from a foreign underdeveloped country to a foreign developed country to a familiar developed country.
A lot of things have surprised me in Europe and at home. For example, I was so confused when a car stopped and waited for me to cross the street. In Tanzania, a car would sooner hit you and just keep going! Also, it was SO quiet! In Tanzania there are farm animals wandering everywhere making all kinds of racket. And, the cars are making all kinds of noise (mostly honking, which means get out of the way right now!!!!) I'm now a majority as opposed to a minority and I can travel around without being interrupted or bothered by anyone! Honestly, I think this is the most amazing part of being home for me. I'm more of a quiet, to myself kind of person and I don't like it when strangers are constantly coming up to me and asking for my name or my phone number, or if I can give them money, or whatever. I like to just go do what I want to do without interruption and that's it.
Something that has made a large impact on me has been how much stuff is EVERYWHERE!! It was very overwhelming walking into my room which is full of shelves loaded mostly with old toys, books, and other decorative elements. It was really overwhelming being surrounded by so much stuff after being in a room that was pretty much empty for the last 6 months. I think I prefer my room in Tanzania. There's less to dust, less to clean, less to keep track of, less to worry about getting broken. But, I find myself getting caught up in all the materialism. Especially being deprived of so much for so long and then suddenly being surrounded by everything. I want to do everything at once, I want to eat everything at once, I want to see everyone at once. It's like the best and worst feeling in the world. I have to stop and ask myself "how would a Tanzania feel about this?" Not necessarily because Tanzanians know best, but just because I've been living and interacting with them for the last six months. I mean, seriously, the $5 I spent on my Starbucks Frappuccino could feed a family that I know in Tanzania for a WEEK if not longer!! It honestly makes me sick, and yet I've already bought at least 3 cups of coffee since I've been back... It's like I just can't help myself after not having access to all of these things for so long and also knowing that I won't have them for at least another year. The other problem is that I see so many things that I've forgotten about and I think "Oh! I'd like to take that back with me to Tanzania!" And I have to stop myself because I can't bring back everything. I need to save space to bring things back for the school. It's hard to find that balance between what I should bring and what I shouldn't bring. I have to keep reminding myself that I've lived with what I've got for the last few months and I did just fine. (Though, I do want to personalize my room a bit since I will be staying for another year.)
I have finally made my epic trip to Wal-Mart and although it wasn't quite as scary as I was thinking it would be, it was like so many things in America: overwhelming. I did bring a friend and her specific instructions were "do not let me get carried away in there!" Haha! Luckily, between having a friend and a list, I managed to make it in and out without any major problems or melt downs. But, I have to wonder more and more, do we really need an entire side of an isle dedicated to cereal? Do we really need 3 full isles dedicated to makeup?? I mean, do we really hate our own appearances that much? Over the last 6 months I got used to seeing myself without makeup, seeing myself the way God sees me. But, I'm back now and I've gone back to wearing makeup and big jewelry as was my habit before I left.
So now I'm left thinking about the last half of a year and comparing that to America (my other home). I'm left trying to ponder how my life will change since I've returned. I don't have so much time to make major life alterations now because I'm returning to Africa in just over a week, but now I've got a whole year to decide how I can simplify my life here and reflect over what I've learned from living in Tanzania. I want to be more conservative. I want to have less and live more. I want to be a part of the world that surrounds me as opposed to trapping myself inside; buried in materialism and things. People matter, the world that God created for us to live in matters. Whether or not you have the newest car, phone, clothes, computer, etc. does not matter. Those things cannot do anything for you and they don't add true meaning in your life. In fact, I feel like those things take away true meaning from our lives because they distract us from what's really important. They take up our brain space as we think about and worry over them and we forget to remember what's important. We can always live with less. The real question is, can we really and truly live with more?
Well, in closing I'd like to share some photos to share with you all from my trip. Since this blog is for mission related things, I'm only going to post one picture from each country I visited (Switzerland, Italy, and France). If you want to view more pictures from this trip, check out my facebook page!! :D
May the Lord Bless You and Keep You,
~Christine
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